Labels: deluding ourselves
11:57 AM
dams. with so much pressure behind them, all it takes is one tiny crack, one small hole, it starts with a trickle, then the pressure gets worse and soon, there are cracks all over your stronghold and soon the dam collapses and breaks. all that was held behind, all that was kept in, for a reason, spills out in a torrential flow, unstoppable because your defenses have been smashed beyond repair.
today is nicole's very significant day HAHA! she's getting all flustered and going crazy, i can't remember how it was like for me when my significant day came last time. and URGH GAAA RAAAA writing a compo with 60words seems like a simple task, but try writing it in bahasa indonesia! ohmygosh i can just pull my hair out! i had to spend one whole day thinking of the words to use, and i can sense that my tutor will have a good time laughing at my grammer errors.
i really hate the feeling of being in the in-between. omg help me understand, i dont know what in the freaking world im doing with my life anymore. its stagnant its not going anywhere. i cant even bear to say the words, i cant even bear to type them out. for this i know im not strong. for me, it's been a constant if not daily, then like weekly battle. seeing the same thing and wondering the same things over and over again.
urgh i need a hug, whoever sees me in school tmr, please come forward and give me a hug please?
11:16 PM
4:46 AM