Must go Egypt in this life!
I was just thinking, what if it's true that the world is ending in 2012, then why the heck is everyone working so hard instead of spending whatever time we all have left and do what we like. Maybe because they always said the world was ending so many times before but it never did, or maybe no one actually believes in such things.
I MUST MUST MUST travel to Egypt, Mexico, India, Greece, Bahamas, USA (for six flags), North Korea, Tibet in this life no matter what.
Hmm & I'm wondering if I should go for another OCIP trip at the end of this year to Cambodia or something, just to give back to society a little, and to open my eyes again and appreciate all the luxury that I'm soaking in.
*EDIT
I think I found out the reason why I used to feel empty in the past. It's because I judge my self worth based on who I have in my life rather than my accomplishments. It doesn’t matter if I scored high on an exam, or made a myriad of new friends, because at the end of the day all these things don't really mean much to me and wouldn't be able to fill the space in me. Seriously, I think I've only interacted with all the new friends I've made, like less than 1% of the time & suddenly I feel that making so many new friends is quite retarded, seeing the fact that both parties do not take the effort to maintain contact after the first encounter unless necessary. So the fact of the matter is how I view myself is relevant to who’s in my life. And through that mentality, I’ll never start feeling better. But then again, the ability to maintain the important people in your life can also be seen as an accomplishment. It's not an easy task maintaining people in your life. I guess for me, failing to do so means that I've failed. Rather than seeing accomplishments in terms of grades etc, I see my accomplishments in terms of relationships.
So now I'm trying to take a different perspective, my self worth is irrelevant to the people that I have in my life, rather my worth comes from my personality and what I have to offer.
Anyway I was thinking, is it good to be too dependable? & just another random thought, sometimes I do wonder if others would do the same for me, for what I've did for them. Though I've always pride myself as someone who gives my all without expecting anything in return, but hey it's only human to wonder if you'll get some returns for all your efforts right.
& recently I've noticed a change in me - that I can't be bothered to entertain everyone anymore, there's just too many people out there to be entertained, and I only have a limited capacity, and neither am I gonna compromise myself just to entertain all my acquaintances because I just don't see a need for it since at the end of the day they are gonna remain as acquaintances. So my blatant disregard and lack of involvement with acquaintances gets pretty obvious. I seek spiritual relationships, not so many superficial, on the surface relationships. It's just too tiring to keep up.
Okay I feel like I'm rambling, I hope I understand what I've just said when I read this again.
me me maggi me;
2:47 PM